I haven't posted anything "written" in a while. Honestly, I haven't had the energy nor desire for quite some time. Life hasn't been bad. Compared to most of humanity and even 60% of my friends, my life is dewy buds and sunshine. Even without the comparison I can't ignore how golden my life is. God saved me, gave me a wonderful, servant-hearted hlaughte and two healthy, rambumcious boys who fill my home with laughter. I have the best friends imaginable, ladies who keep my eyes fixed on Christ while making every hangout incredibly silly and fun. I have a great job, doing things I love AND get paid for it. So why do I feel so off? This is what I refer to as my paper paradox: written down, I have blessing surpassing the Andes but yet I still feel gloomy. Before I started taking anxiety medicine, this disquiet equaled daily emotional volcanoes of hopelessness coupled with violent outbursts. With meds, its tempered to a tepid discontent. That's awesome, all things considered. Who wouldn't take vague discontent rather than redundant conflict?