The single largest demographic risk factor for early death... & parenting

“Being male is now the single largest demographic risk factor for early mortality in developed countries. “ - Dr. DJ Kruger, ‘Sexual selection and the male:female mortality ratio.” (2014)

Like all of you moms out there with special need kiddos, I spend a lot of time thinking, researching strategies, and praying over my boys. I worry about their ability to launch, fear their failure as adults, and continually berate myself over my poor parenting choices and anger flashes. We’ve tried to create an ongoing life skills conversation with our boys every day at dinner as a means by which to speak to their hearts and hear their thoughts, ambitions, and concerns. Last night we talked about popularity and why some kids attract friends and others don’t. Both of my older boys lamented that they wished they were popular because then, in the words of Jude, “everyone likes you.”

Jude - Portrait - Denton Texas 2019

We looked at Samson and Delilah, at Solomon and his thousand women lovers/sister-wives and how badly things turned out for them. Then we talked about what God sees and the characteristics we should look for in others when assessing them as a possible friend. Are they compassionate or cruel? Do they seek approval of others or are they self-contented? Are they concerned about outward appearances (body, clothing, possessions) or are they excited by deeper interests? Do they garner a huge pool of copycats? (We talked about this being a big red flag). How do we see people with wisdom AND compassion? Then we asked the (ok, kind of creepy) question of the day: “Out of everyone you know, can you think of anyone who would make a good wife or mom? And if so, why?”

Why is boy mortality rate so high, friends? Because boys—men, really—are killing themselves at unprecedented numbers. Hopelessness and a huge purpose void drive so many to give up and seek oblivion. It’s so critical that we love these boys hard so that they will one day be the kind of men who fight for their life with tenacity and joy. That’s our prayer and we hope it will be yours too.